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There are a few things that bother me about baloney. One is the nasty baloney smell you get on your fingers after making a nice baloney and cheese sandwich. You get done making a sandwich, sit down in front of the TV, and then decide to scratch your nose. That is not a good smell. But even more than the smell is the juice. Baloney juice? The only other meat that comes with juice is usually hamburger or a steak and we’re talking more in the blood range, than the juice range. And if Baloney doesn’t bleed, then why is that juice in the bottom of the wrapper? Oh, maybe it’s for a ‘baloney dip.’ A fancy restaurant gives you baloney on sourdough with a side of foggy baloney juice for dipping. Mmm, Mmm…makes for a moist treat. Back to reality: The good thing about baloney is they aren’t trying to fool you. Baloney just sounds bad. Baloney. Definitely the inventor of baloney was a nice guy, he realized the meat he created was ridiculously awful so he said, “Aw’ hell we’ll just call this Baloney.” And people actually eat this stuff, which is always amazing to me. I wonder what would have happened had the Baloney guru decided to give his mystery meat a fancy name. I’m not sure what would fit this meat, but some word you can't pronounce is always enticing. As for other meats that rank on our list of horrible meats: meatloaf. A loaf should be light a fluffy. Meatloaf as we all know has never been described as something even remotely close to light or fluffy. Rather on the contrary. Meatloaf has a good chance of sitting in your gut for a good three days before giving you a case of the “green apple splatters.” But even if you like meatloaf, who thought putting meat into a bread pan would be a good idea? |
"Baloney"